I know many in Blog land have been recently bereaved or are in difficult circumstances so I feel I should say this is going to be about funerals - part rant, part information sharing. So if you are feeling fragile, don't read the rest of this post.
Those adverts every 15 mins about buying a funeral "insurance" drive me nuts. Simple maths show that it is a false economy, and the Financial Ombudsman is already gearing up to crack down on some of these "offers". We did once pay for a family member's funeral in advance, just a one off payment that reduced capital and those kept the person within the benefits remit for the care home costs. Trouble was, despite having agreed to the plan, when it came to it my brother ordered loads of extras that had to be paid up front by ME and it took 6 months to get the extra £1000 back from the probate settlement.
Neither of us are religious at all and both have hated attending formal funerals in the past. So the other day I spotted an "info advert" in the weekend broadsheet newspaper for something I had never heard of. Apparently you can have a directed cremation. The body is collected in a plain vehicle, cremated when/where ever and the family get the ashes some time later. Current price £1100. (Not the £4000 or £5000 minimum mentioned in all those adverts!).
That's us! We agreed totally.
a) we can afford it and can put the money in an account the kids can access
b) the family don't have to rush from all parts of the country
c) they don't have to involve the distant family who have barely spoken to us in decades in some false formality
d) when the ashes come back, then the family can arrange a big party to scatter them on a beach in summer or a mountain in winter and play, very loudly, ABBA for him and The Eagles for me. They can hire a big house and spend time together being rude about us.
We had never heard of this alternative but it does seem a viable one for us and there seem to be several well organised companies.
I loathe those prepaid funerals. They've had your money up-front and they see no need to be "obliging". I've had run-ins with those firms professionally (as a vicar) when I've felt they are being unhelpful to bereaved families. I think your idea of an account which your children can access is great.
ReplyDeleteThat is a great shame.
DeleteMy sister-in-law lost her mum last Christmas - she was very ill with Alzheimer's. This is exactly what the 3 daughters chose to do. They met up later in the year to scatter the ashes. My own mother in law also wants this as does my mum. My dad says he wants to donate his body to medical science - but as far as I know he's not taken the relevant steps to enable this to happen.
ReplyDeleteP.S. the cost of theirs was £600.
ReplyDeletei only heard of direct cremation when it was reported that David Bowie had chosen it. My husband and I have both decided this is what we want when our time comes. The cost of funerals is criminal!
ReplyDeleteSounds interesting, I have told my daughter I would like my ashes scatted on a compost heap, final act of recycling.
ReplyDeleteWhat a brilliant post, Trish, I had no idea such a thing existed. The price of funerals, even the most basic type, is positively criminal, as Debbie above said. I've just discussed direct cremation with husband, and he's in full agreement that this is what we will choose. Thank you for this.
ReplyDeleteMy pleasure (sort of). It was a complete surprise to us too!
Deletemy mother paid for hers years ago , i told her id just put her on the compost heap ...lol
ReplyDelete